R-Rated | All the Things I've Loved Lately
A new hair oil, a Trad Wives podcast, the highstreet t-shirt I keep wearing and new vintage home purchases. Plus, are we all burnt out all the time these days?
I hate to use the B word but truly, these last few weeks, whenever I catch a break in my schedule, the only way to describe how I feel is burnt out. I know so many of us are stuck in this state and I’ve already wailed about it on substack but truly, how do we get off this manic pendulum swing of modern life? I’ve read the books and listened to the podcasts but the cycle continues. For me, it’s less hamster wheel, more pendulum because I’m either super busy, productive and feeling motivated or chronically tired and in rest and recooperate mode. I can’t find the in between. And I’m one of the lucky ones; I’m my own boss, I have the means for self-care rituals and a good therapist and I don’t (yet) have children to support financially and emotionally. So if I’m struggling with this adrenal fatigue and burnout, how is everyone else doing it?! Or are we are all wrecks behind closed doors? I’m known for being the worst texter-backer ever amongst my friends and it’s always exacerbated by this hermit-like state I find myself in when my social battery has quite literally no more to give.
All of this is to say, I’m sorry for my more sporadic substacks these last few weeks. The irony being, this substack and our community is something I truly love but ain’t that the kicker; when you reach exhaustion, it’s often the things you really enjoy that go to the bottom of the pile first. Saying that, this last week has been the perfect clash of doing lovely, fun things but still resulting in melting into the sofa as soon as I get home. I spent the week in Zakynthos (yep, zero sympathy needed) hosting a press trip for Missoma, the British jewellery brand I’ve designed collections for for the past 10 (how?!) years, and truly we had the best time ever. Community, connection and lots of time in and on the sea, it was an amazing week that felt good for the soul but fairly depleting as any hosting and event-going can be for us introverted types. I couldn’t get enough of chatting to everyone and getting to know people more, so much so I’d race through my shower time just to get back to cocktail hour, but then I’d go to bed at midnight and lie awake until 3 A.M, my brain wired but very, very happy. Some juice is at least worth the squeeze as they say.
I thought a good way of getting back into the newsletter swing of things was to do a classic R-Rated style of sub stack, with lots of recommendations and little titbits of things I’ve been loving and enjoying. Nice things! Things I like! Let’s go.
P.s the ‘R-Rated’ stands for ‘Remotely Rated’ rather than having any affiliation with the American movie rating system. One of my best friends asked me about it not that long ago so I thought I’d clarify!
Reading
I initially started listening to Paul Lynch’s Prophet Song on Audible but I couldn’t get into it and kept losing track of the narrative and plot. As soon as I switched to the hard copy and actually started reading it, I couldn’t put it down. It’s so fast-paced and frenetic with little punctuation or speech marks so kind of no wonder reading suited me better than listening for this one. It follows an imagined totalitarian state in Ireland and one woman’s struggle to keep her family together as the government descends into a bloody civil war. Heavy, dark and visceral, it feels particularly poignant with what’s going on in the world right now and really digs into human resilience and the stoicism of not wanting to leave the place you call home, no matter what. A brilliant piece of writing although I will say, the incessant use of light/dark and hot/cold similes started to grate on me a tad. Next up, I’m reading John Williams’ Stoner which I’ve never read before and the back cover blurb alone makes me question how this is possible it sounds so up my street.
This isn’t a new article but new to me. I read this 2019 Paris Review essay by CJ Hauser just this morning and found it very moving. So many of the bits about being ashamed of our needs and desires as women really resonated with me, especially when I think about how I behaved in previous relationships in my 20s. I feel like any millenial brought up within the ‘Cool Girl’ and ‘ladette’ tropes of the early 00s subliminally learnt that to need things equates to being ‘needy’ which has been the ultimate female put-down for decades it seems. I really liked how Hauser uses her study of endangered birds to reflect on how we value our own self-sufficiency and articulated so much of what I’ve struggled to over the years.
Shopping
We’re island hopping this summer which involves multiple ferries and planes so I’m really, really, REALLY trying not to overpack. First time for everything right. So rather than statement pieces, I’m trying to do lots of separates I can mix and match. I just bought a couple of bits from Leset to plug the holes in my summer wardrobe. I got this little green skirt which I thought would look great with an oversized white tee or button-down shirt and this mini satin dress that I can wear under a jacket when I’m in London too but I’ll dress down with brown leather sandals and beaded jewellery in Greece.
I finally made it to a Spotlight market last weekend and picked up this weighty green glass bull that is now pride of place on our mantle. Definitely worth going to one if you’re needing small bits or large pieces. The sellers are great and I feel like it’s less manic than it was immediately after lock down. I also bought this very sweet antique painting from Puckhaber online recently; as soon as I saw it it reminded me of Finn and I had to get it. (Just link to stores/websites).
Watching
Have you watched Eric yet? Benedict Cumberbatch is incredible in it and I loved the multiple narratives and characters that felt really developed and each of them very moving. The detective’s storyline nearly broke me. We also finally watched Challengers which I couldn’t have enjoyed more. The psychological love triangle is hot, hot, hot (you could cut the sexual tension with a knife) but there’s substance beneath the very stylish surface. I could have spent an hour dissecting the ending and motives for every character after finishing it.
I used to be such a big consumer of True Crime but have really stepped back from it in the last year. Not even deliberately, I think I just realised I was truly satiated and I hate the direction online ‘sleuths’ have gone in the last few years and kind of got the ick for it all in truth. However Channel 4’s The Fall: Skydive Murder Plot has been the exception. Yes it’s about an attempted murder case after a woman’s parachute fails not once but twice and she falls 4000 ft to the ground AND SURVIVES! But it’s also an intimate portrait of coercive control and how abusive and destructive being in these emotionally damaging relationships can be. Very well-produced by Channel 4.
Ending on something actually joyful, Trying is back with a new season on Apple TV. The most feel-good, beautifully written but widely underrated show on TV that makes both me and my husband feel gooey inside without ever being sickly sweet. Couldn’t love this show more.
Using
I’ve got quite a few new beauty heroes I’ve been using these last few months so I thought I’d list them of ease of sifting through anything not of interest!
Reome 3 Suns Balm Cleanser - A lot of you might be familiar with Reome’s Recovery Broth Serum but it’s this cleanser that’s the hero product for me. I’ve swapped out my De Mamiel oil balm cleanser for this while the weather is warmer for my evening double cleanse. It’s nourishing and softening and the packaging is very easy to travel with.
Kate Somerville Goat Milk moisturiser - My favourite cleanser (this is always part two of my double cleanse) now comes with a follow-on moisturiser. Simple, nourishing and non-irritating, it’s ideal for hot and bothered skin.
Virtue Hair Oil - All it takes for me to buy into a new hair product is one person’s anecdotal recommendation that it changed their hair/life. I’m a total sucker and a marketer’s dream. This was purchased on exactly such a recommendation and do you know what, it’s actually very good. With lots of oils that recommend using 2-3 drops, my hair will drink up 20 on first go but with this, a little really does go a long way. You shake it to mix the components and then smooth a few drops on dry ends to seal and protect them. And it smells like salted caramel which is a nice bonus.
Glossier lip liner in Grip - I love a lip liner and am always seeking out the best of the rest and these are great. The glide on, they last, and the colours are spot on with a wide skintone offering. My favourite is Grip which is the perfect natural enhancer for my far from Kylie Jenner lips.
Necessaire Eucalyptus deodorant - Not new to the market or to me but I got a fresh one of these and remembered how great it is. No other deodorant can compete. 10/10 no notes.
Wearing
I’d go as far to say Massimo Dutti does the best simple cotton t-shirt on the highstreet (although I did see Pandora mention an M&S one here that I now want to try too). I have this Massimo Dutti one in red, white and grey and they’ve become my most reached for tee right now -it’s this exact one. I also wore these jewellery combinations in Greece last week and feel like this is going to be my go-to stacks this summer. One thing about doing the collaboration for so long is I love how certain pieces come back into my orbit again and I suddenly can’t rememeber why I ever took it off. Case in the point the curb chain and the big chunky Roman ring. Both look so good in that glowy summer light too.
When I say it took me 3 attempts to crack the sizing on these Nike Cortez sneakers, I’m not kidding. But, drum roll, I now have so I thought I would share this nugget of wisdom with you because the size guide on Net-A-Porter wasn’t working for me. So I’m a UK 5 and I finally settled on a US 7.5 which is perfect on me. This isn’t equivalent to US men’s sizing (as the size guide says) and is larger than US women’s sizing so who bloody knows but they are the *perfect summer trainer* and the brown works with everything.
I got some new shades from Greek brand Explicit Poets recently having lost my beloved Jimmy Fairly pair in Norway (me and shades cannot be trusted). They have a very light yellow lens which is something different for me but I’m enjoying the 1970s Suburban dad vibe of them.
Staying
The Missoma press trip I mentioned in the intro was to the much-loved Peligoni Club on Zakynthos which is one of those places you can’t not have a great time. *Full disclosure, being a press trip for a brand the stay was hosted but I’m under no obligation or understanding to write about it here. I just feel like gushing about it. My second time there and I hope far from the last, it’s a beach club with associated villas concept rather than a hotel and is renowned as being the dream situation with kids and teens thanks to its incredible kids club and activities. However, being a group of nine women with no kids in tow, I can definitively vouch for not needing children to reap the joys of Peligoni. We were staying at Villa Fiagri just a short walk from the club which was nothing short of incredible. All the antique doors in the house were sourced from India and the white and blue tadelakt bathrooms are the Mamma Mia dream. There were endless little nooks and seating zones to laze around on, beautiful outdoor tables for long lunches and pre-dinner drinks and my bedroom opened up onto a huge private terrace complete with open-air sun pavilion for afternoon naps. Truly so special and unlike so many beige villas I see online, brimming with personality, print and colour. Plus you can order in groceries and dinner from the club’s restaurant and deli so no washing up even if you can’t be bothered to leave. From the little pontoon you can swim out to, the morning juices and coffees, watersports on tap and the tucked-away Goat Shed spa for massages and treatments, the club has it all but it’s nice that you can also very much retreat to your own villa and have your own space. We spent a day out on the club’s sailing boat Odyssey too which was very special and getting a water taxi over to Mikro Nisi restaurant is a highlight for sure.
Listening
My friend Emily sent me this episode of You’re Wrong About: Trad Wives to listen to and as always with Sarah Marshall’s podcasts, I finished it feeling infinitely more clever and perplexed all at once. Unpicking the emergence of the ‘Trad Wife’ phenomenon on TikTok with the likes of Nara Smith and Ballerina Farm leading the way, it delves into socio-economics, feminism, the role of the home in historical gender politics and the existential crisis of content creation which I couldn’t not relate to/ grimace at. Marshall is always witty, sage and sarcastic so listening to it is all pleasure and no chore (unlike how I imagine making your toddlers homemade cereal and handchurned mozzarella might be).
I’m thinking about doing a Greek Island Q&A substack for paid subscribers this month. Send me your questions about what you’re looking for, where to stay or to help you decide on itineraries and I’ll answer them in the next week or so. We’re going to two new islands this month so can add a couple more into the mix!
Until next time, Lxxx
Your R-rated posts are always my faves! And same - I feel like I’m stuck in a hole this year and the less I do, the less I feel I can do, if that makes any sense at all.
Really enjoyed reading this post! Yes, please, to a Greek Island Q&A! We're going to Paros, Sifnos and Serifos in September. Would love any recommendations for eating out and also how to go about renting a boat for day trips. Do you have any suggestions for what to do in Athens (one night on the way to the islands and two before heading home)?